Starting a Revolution


We at hold ourselves to a near-impossibly high standard. I read books. I’ve written a bibliography or hundred in my day. The library I dream of someday having smells of rich mahogany, among other super impressive academic stuff I’ve (not yet) accomplished. I often get requests for contributions and involvement with projects at such as this obviously very specific, targeted request to me and only me.

My point being, when it came time to write about this revolution I’m spearheading, it naturally required an intense regiment of background study.

Topic of revolution, well, here’s a hint: Drops-Mic

Although no I don’t want to take credit for the mic drop, rather I’m taking over the mic hold.

But first a brief history of the mic drop. I’m penning this blog post with Pandora creating a unique melodious beat of Naughty By Nature’s Hip Hop Hooray seguing to the sultry voice of Snoop Dog’s Gin & Juice. Poetry. Given that the microphone dropping revolution is believed to have started in the 1980s, it’s a respectable guess that these two musical groups have dropped a mic or two in their day.

Were they the first to start it? Probably not, as it’s actually credited to Eddy Murphy. Who popularized the mic drop? Not one to play the the political card here, believe it or not it was the POTUS himself, Barack Obama. Scan this detailed history of the microphone drop for all your the-conversation-ends-here needs.

But think about it for a tic. If I, for example, say something profound and then look to put an authoritative stamp on the entire scenario by dropping a microphone and walking away, what on earth is preventing the next person from walking up on stage, picking up the microphone and sheepishly saying, “Heeeey, umm, well this is awkward, but that was Ted King. Let’s hear it for Ted, everyone!” (Clap clap clap, next person goes on stage and the party resumes.)

Therefore for my revolution, I present unto you this creative genius: ???…?? I call it, the mic hold.

As just mentioned above, if you drop a mic and walk away, anyone can quickly scurry on stage and pick up where you left off. Worse yet, they can counter anything you just said, dis you, throw you under the bus, or straight up out perform you. But if you say something profound, hold you hand out parallel to the ground in the universal, “I’m about to drop the mic” pose… but then just walk away with mic still in hand, oh man oh man oh man, just picture it, THEN you’re the new boss.*

Here’s a profound ride. A standard Point Reyes Station ride plus a visit to Johnny Doughnuts whereuponst I had an old fashions maple. It was off the heezy.

The mic drop is dead. Long live the mic hold.

*If the microphone is not wireless and you’re actually tethered to the wall/speaker, then the mic hold is not recommended quite as highly. Be sure in this scenario to have definitely said/done something ridiculously profound and then a) unplug the microphone cord or b) be certain you’re jacked enough so as to tear the microphone out of the wall/speaker with impressive, but not entirely dangerous authority.

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