Who’s Hungry?

For those of you curious on the matter, I encourage you to avoid planning on going anywhere via car in downtown Dubai the day the Tour of Dubai’s prologue comes to town. Unless you want to sit in traffic and have no idea what’s happening. Those cars are not moving, by the way.




And since comparison is fun, here’s the same shot some seven hours later.




The 2014 race season is underway folks! I suppose it’s been going on for a while now, but unlike the past two seasons where I started pinning on a number at the Tour of San Luis, I’m inaugurating this year with a Middle Eastern tour. Which is rather adventuresome since I don’t know when I will be here otherwise. It’s not exactly on many layovers I typically take anyway. (That said, Emirates Airlines is my new preferred airlines. They’re as friendly as they are clean.)

We had a 10km prologue, which went smoothly enough. I didn’t win, chiefly because I left that honor to my countryman Taylor. I didn’t have money on him, per se, but my bet was that Taylor would win and he didn’t disappoint.

Besides the ever increasing nerves of the authorities controlling the number of cars darting onto course during warm-up, the race itself was stunning. Big, beautiful, smooth roads, wide open corners to be taken at high speed, a good turnout of fans, and just a good day! Hello 2014.

Let’s cut to the chase and go to the heart of what this particular blog entry is all about: perusing foreign grocery stores. This is one of my favorite ways to explore a new country. As I touched upon yesterday with square donuts, globalization (and refrigeration) is a stark reality, and this exists in a grocery store as much as anywhere else. Let’s begin with something excellent.

Or Excellence, I should say.




Louisiana hot peppers bring this small bottle of pep to life! The fierce bald eagle instills fear in taste buds world wide and this hot sauce of Excellence clearly makes no exception. (Furthermore, with a little bit of research I learned that after a sharp decline, bald eagles are making a return to the Bayou State. You can report spotting said bird-of-prey here.)

Continuing along this trail of spice, I reckon we’re doing it all wrong in America. We have peanuts. We have nachos. But we do them separately. Why the heck haven’t we created the nacho peanut?!




…the new punchline to my favorite joke will be, “Nacho ‘nuts!”

Segueing to the next aisle while staying along the genre of peanuts, this is something special.




There was once a Garden of Eden, which is said to have been perfect in every possible way. Surely somewhere in the back hedges of that Garden was a tree that grew jars of peanut butter. Wow that would be fantastic.

And to bring this segment to a close — afterall, it was a brief stroll through the Towers Grocery Mart — let’s go straight for dessert. Since chewing requires so much energy, just chug that Mars bar down with a new Mars beverage.




Actually I’m willing to bed that’s also truly fantastic.

Bedtime. Over and out.


  1. Eli


    Love these, keep ’em coming Ted! Best of luck out there…just keep doing what you’re doing – Merrikuh’s real proud of you!


  2. JV

    “nacho nuts”…. laughed out loud and now my office knows I’m faking working right now…
    WORTH IT! Keeep these rad posts coming, and good luck my man!

  3. JohnnyG

    What no FLUFF? Have a great tour Ted.

  4. Mikeyc

    I’m leaving for Dubai tonight, hoping to catch the last two stages, can’t wait!

  5. Efraim Shaw

    Great post, Thanks!

    I was wondering whether you target the prologue at all. Your’e a large fella and can churn out some serious watts. Are you keeping the glycogen topped off in order to help Peter, or is there a different explanation?


  6. Rodney

    Awesome… Kings Nacho Nutz. Having been in Asian groceries throughout china, it was always a gas to visit Import Section for BBQ sauce. Be sure to look in beverage section for Sweat in a can. It is sweat in a can. Best served warm. Blah

  7. Richard Gingras

    From Solvang to Dubai. Wishing you a successful start to your cycling season. Hope to see you in Santa Barbara (TOC).

  8. Daragh Barry

    Just found your website, it’s great. Nico roche has a similar thing going on in Ireland but not as detailed(come on nico!) Q is how would you rate natural ability versus traing if you could chart it
    Thanks again

    • iamtedking

      I appreciate the support! I know I’ve come really far on training. But I don’t think anyone slips into the ProTour without already being in the top 1% of human cycling physiology. A chart? That’s a tough one. Let’s go with a VERY arbitrary 70% training and hard-frigging-work and 30% inherent talent.

  9. Daragh

    As an aside my brother thinks he can match your girona loop time on strava. He weighs about 65kg … What do you think of his chances?

    • iamtedking

      I have no idea what my Girona loop time on Strava is. I didn’t race it, but I trust that if your brother tries hard, he could beat it. And then I would go out and beat his time. I don’t care what he weighs; that’s irrelevant. I know a lot of fast 50kg guys and a lot of fast 100kg guys.

  10. Jonathan Zammit Moore

    Ted, you should have bought that liquid Mars bar 🙂 It goes down a treat after a hard ride.


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