I win!

…fifteen bucks. And by win I mean found.

And now an extrapolation.

I was at a nice outdoor mid-summer concert a few weeks back. I moseyed over to the dining area and (figuratively) stumbled on a five dollar bill. I then had to use the facilities so after port-a-jon’ing myself, I conveniently and thoroughly drenched the bill in the bathroom hand sanitizer. And I do mean DRENCHED. Then about ten minutes later, I noticed my hind quarters were damp; turns out I put the bill in my rear pocket, sat on it, and discovered this way that the bill was as sanitized as it was soaked. Just like my rear pant pocket. Whatever, who’s five doars richer? This guy.

I just got home from the beach here in Lake Tahoe. I administered a smashing four-plus hour ride, I luncheoned myself, did a round of stretching and found it due time to hit the beach. I swam out to the floating raft/dock dealie and bronzed myself for about eight minutes. Next, just as I was about to swim to shore, I spotted what looked like a pack of cigarettes on the lake floor beneath the dock. I love Mother Earth and dislike litter. So upon swimming to the lake’s nether depths, I was rewarded not with a pack of water logged cigarettes but rather a piece of paper worth ten dollars in American tender with Alexander Hamilton’s mug front and center.

I win.


  1. Becky B

    Dude, how is this post dated tomorrow?? I digress…
    Anyway, found money means you have to split it equally between treating yourself and giving the rest to charity, even if it’s moist.

  2. Steve M

    you need a metal detector to keep this going!

    • iamtedking

      @Becky, it’s the magic of posting it late at night when WordPress bases their software on British time. Or something weird like that.

      @Steve, I only deal in paper money. Well, gold or silver would be nice too, but I like to find dollar bills more than pennies and nickels.

  3. Roxanne

    Keep this up, and you’ll be able to afford the bike fees that airlines charge!!

  4. shannon g

    Nice! Good deeds gets rewarded! Mother nature was paying you off for your kindness toward her 😉

  5. Renee Sicchitano

    I’m sure alexander thanks you for rescuing him from the depths of the lake.

  6. Frank

    That certainly beats the half of a twenty dollar bill I found while mowing the lawn.

  7. Shannon

    Why do I feel you’re mocking people like me who frame their $10 prime from their first cat 4 race? 😉

  8. Emma

    In acquiring this tender you have stolen any money finding luck from anyone in a 50 mile radius. Thats just too lucky! Incredible find. Spend it wisely. Or frame it. Both are acceptable.


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