One Layer at a Time

Ahh, the good old days. Come 3:30pm Monday through Friday, I would often return home from elementary school hankerin’ for an afternoon treat. Handi-Snacks! Lunchables! And best yet, who remembers 1-2-3-Jello?! This last item was a favorite snack of mine, yet always remained something of a mystery to me. While I don’t seem to recall any skull-and-crossbone warnings on the package, presumably any Jello concoction that can magically separate into three distinct layers – including creamy – by just adding water probably contains enough chemicals to sustain an 8th grade science lab. Yum.

Maybe the health concerns are the reason it’s no longer in obvious existence, but if this brings back great childhood memories of yours, then by all means, join the petition to BRINGITONBACK.

(For those of you still perplexed with this talk of 1-2-3 Jello, it was almost like standard Jello except that after putting it into the fridge for a few chemically enhanced hours, out comes three layers of Bill Cosby’s favorite jiggly treat.)

Next, I think it was my friend Darby who introduced me to the less artificially altered, savory three-layer alternative to Jello: three layer cornbread. For my reading audience unaware of this creation, if you have even the slightest taste for cornbread – and I seriously mean even if you say in the most lackluster, unenthused tone ever, “Umm, yeah I guess cornbread is okay” – I truly recommend making a batch of this immediately! Recipe HERE. A delicious accompaniment with virtually any dinner entree, one secret I discovered is to nuke it in the microwave, drizzle a bit of molasses on top, and call it dessert. The custardy bottom bit is divine.

To summarize the preceding paragraph, this is cornbread in three distinct layers.

Teddy, where the crap are you going with this post? A great question…

What brings this blog installment together is my three layer arm tan. Instead of happening over the course of a few hours in the refrigerator or 50 minutes in the oven, this takes place over the entire course of a cycling season. But my three layer arm tan is already sprouting wings and taking flight. With superb weather finally upon us, my arms are beginning to exhibit yet another three layer phenomenon… which actually is no phenomenon at all. You have the following:

1. Race Jersey – where the jersey sleeves fit flush and lengthy down one’s biceps. Lots of time spent with jersey in this length, generally with a number pinned on one’s back.
2. Training Jersey – for me, I roll them up or fold them over. Others cut their sleeves or let them flap in the wind. Either way, this gives a lighter tan alternative to what lies below the Race Jersey. It also gives a nice pink toasty burn the first big day in the sun.
3. The Farmer – this is the part of the arm that is virtually always covered by both the Race the the Training Jerseys. Skin is virgin, pasty, and white.

And with that exceedingly random post (except that I further enhanced my three layer tan… and now have another hankerin’ for Handisnacks and Jello), I need to pack my bags and go to Paris-Roubaix now. I bid you adieu.


  1. Becky B

    Wow, you got good after-school snacks! All I ever got was healthy crap, which is probably why I still crave junk food today – thanks Mom. But it’s not junk food if you make it from scratch, right? Can you say Nutella pop-tarts?

    Best of luck on Sunday. Stay upright. I’ll be riding along in front of the computer.

  2. Jeff L

    Hmmmm. Those extraneous tan lines could be considered a violation of Rule 7. I don’t think being a pro exempts you from “The Rules”.

  3. iamtedking

    Crud, I wish the ads on the right would advertise for Jello pudding.

  4. Becky B

    I just got an email from hubby – “Are you going to make the 3-layer cornbread from Ted’s blog?” I can hear the whine.
    Guess I’ll have to go get eggs – the neighbor borrowed the last one yesterday!

  5. Scott Woomer

    Great Blog! The 3 layer jello was a staple in the Woomer household! Great memories! Best of luck on Sunday, we’ll be watching and cheering!

  6. Fabio

    Persons everywhere (except perhaps Australia) must be thinking about thinking about tan lines right now. Ever get a Ted?

  7. JR

    Ted, are the great people of cutaway making a Giro 2011 iamnottedking t-shirt? I would really want one for my italian holiday at finestre! 🙂
    hope you survived the ride to roubaix !

    kisses from norway

  8. DNAtsol

    After watching Paris-Roubaix I’m wondering is you added to or prevented a tan on Sunday. No sun getting through that layer. Everyone was absolutely encrusted in dust and dirt. Kind of reminded me of Schwarzenegger in Predator.

  9. Darby Thomas

    Ted, you do know that I own the intellectual property rights to the three layer cornbread recipe right? I expect my royalty check in my mailbox soon… 😉


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.