Happy Mothers’ Day!

Yesterday was Mothers’ Day and in honor of Mom, I was trying to get my handsome grill some media coverage – either TV or some snapshots will do fine. Unfortunately, when some bozo stuck his brake levers literally into my shorts during an abrupt visit with the pavement amidst some typical Dutch three-dimentional “road art”, my hind side became exposed. It wasn’t so bad initially, although in his frantic fury to escape my spandex bib shorts firm grasp on his bike, he yanked tearing the shorts worse, really exacerbating the situation. (“Hey thanks Ace! 70km to go still. It’s a safe bet we’re going to catch the peloton without you acting like a recently beheaded chicken.”)

Pedaling, standing, sprinting, and most other movements related to bike racing continued to open the tear, so that by race’s end, I was literally moments away from incidentally bearing the full monty.

Based on how many friendly comments I’ve received on the subject, however, I’m proud to say my bum is on the computer desktop backgrounds of many cycling fans the world over. And THAT is the best Mothers’ Day gift a Mom could ever ask for.

And now the smoothest pick up line out there. I swear 50% of the time, it works every time…

“Nice bum, where ya from?”


  1. Shannon

    Indeed, what mother wouldn’t be proud to have their son’s hindquarters shared with the world? Afterall, we all go on and on about cute baby tushies when we change our infants’ diapers, so what a fitting tribute to your mom on her special day. I’m sure your mom smiled (once she knew you were ok), and those of us in our I am NOT Ted King schwaaag were certainly happy to see our KOS on the screen, even if it was more of you than we expected to see! Good luck!

  2. KD

    Watching the Giro yesterday we got to say, “It’s Ted!” and then, “Oh my god, it’s Ted’s ass!”
    It was really special. Glad you weren’t hurt and good luck for the rest of the race.

  3. Cap'n Gassypants

    Hey Ted,

    My wife and I we’re over at Bob T’s watching the race and saw the crash. When we first saw the crash we could tell a Cervelo rider had gone down and we we’re hoping it wasn’t you but then we got video confirmation. Glad to hear you’re ok.

    P.S. – I was just going to post “This is Cap’n Gassypants calling Cap’n Assypants” but that just seemed wrong.

  4. giles

    Well, let’s see it then!

  5. Rica

    Well, Ted, it’s a view that only a mother would love. 😉 Just kidding. If it were my son, @DracoYellow, I’d have been very proud that a) he was in the Giro in the first place b) he got back on the saddle after a crash c) his rear wasn’t embarrassing to show in the first place and was in shape, therefore not bringing shame upon the family name and d) Oy! Lookat dat tush! I haven’t seen dat tush since you ver “DEEEES” big, and used to pat powder on it. UGH! Just one leeetle peench! (That’s my best Yiddish grandmother accent for a blog comment… )


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