Yesterday was Mothers’ Day and in honor of Mom, I was trying to get my handsome grill some media coverage – either TV or some snapshots will do fine. Unfortunately, when some bozo stuck his brake levers literally into my shorts during an abrupt visit with the pavement amidst some typical Dutch three-dimentional “road art”, my hind side became exposed. It wasn’t so bad initially, although in his frantic fury to escape my spandex bib shorts firm grasp on his bike, he yanked tearing the shorts worse, really exacerbating the situation. (“Hey thanks Ace! 70km to go still. It’s a safe bet we’re going to catch the peloton without you acting like a recently beheaded chicken.”)
Pedaling, standing, sprinting, and most other movements related to bike racing continued to open the tear, so that by race’s end, I was literally moments away from incidentally bearing the full monty.
Based on how many friendly comments I’ve received on the subject, however, I’m proud to say my bum is on the computer desktop backgrounds of many cycling fans the world over. And THAT is the best Mothers’ Day gift a Mom could ever ask for.
And now the smoothest pick up line out there. I swear 50% of the time, it works every time…
“Nice bum, where ya from?”