One sock two sock red sock blue sock



Here’s a first: As the King of Style’s reputation and credibility grows, more and more questions are pouring in. Is the KoS a long lost heir to Style Man? One can only hypothesize. I generally ignore these particular questions, because I have more important things to do like iron my arm warmers and starch my riding rain vest. However, this question pops up continually, so perhaps taking time to answer this might turn out to be enjoyable and lead to more Q and A for the KoS.

Or not.

This specific question from Scott is the most recent iteration of the question that seems to pop up day after day. It’s been edited by yours truly for brevity’s sake and for correct punctuation, spelling, and grammar.
“This question is about socks. Black socks: in or out?  Personally I love black socks, especially with some kits. For me they say, ‘Yeah I cycle, but it’s my J-O-B so STFU.’ Your answer will either add fuel to their hate or shut them up, because all respect goes out to the KoS.”

Alrighty my friends, let’s all huddle ’round and pay close attention because this is important crap we’re discussing here. Style is a full time job, or J-O-B, as Scott says. It’s how see yourself in mirror each day and how you conduct yourself regardless of what the public eye sees. It’s how you dress, hold yourself, speak,… and type. What I’m alluding to here is your excellent use of STFU – rule number 2. Kudos Scott. However, in terms of speech, it’s important to note that we don’t “cycle.” We ride, we train, we race, we go to the coffee shop and put out the vibe. But we certainly don’t cycle. Recumbent cyclists cycle. People who exude style, though, don’t cycle. Absorb that for a bit, then let’s move on.

Dissecting Scott’s querry, he states, “I love black socks especially with some kits.” Sure Scott, nearly anything is going to look good in certain situations, so you have to be a little more specific. For me, black socks look very most radical with most dark kits. Light kit, however, usually requires white socks. Again, I’m being vague with words like “most” and “usually” because each situation and scenario is critiqued on a case-by-case basis.

The true kicker on the black socks issue – and any issue pertaining to sock color for that matter – is that you need white shoes. White shoes should be mandatory all the time in fact, no matter what kit in which you are clad and no matter what the socks you are sporting. To therefore answer your basic question what color socks should I wear, I issue the bold statement wear white shoes. (Notice how the font is in bold; that’s how you know it’s a bold statement.)

As a follow up, Scott, black socks are mandatory in the winter. Since leg warmers should be black nearly all the time as well, black socks are a must when worn with black leg warmers. White socks bursting out of the gap between shoes and leg warmers just Fred.

Good day good sir,

KoS



Comments

  1. Shannon Gilmartin (aka McDreamyBiker)

    Ted, when you are through with your Tour De Career, I look forward to reading the books that I am sure you will write. You certainly have a way with words. I always love reading your blog. Depsite your Seussical title for this blog, your writing always reminds me a bit of Douglas Adams.

    Reply
  2. Becky B

    How about a tip for the ladies? Missmatched socks are always appropriate, whether you’re on the bike or not! (yeah, I wear them, in fact I’m wearing a pair right now)

    Reply
    • iamtedking

      Becky, unfortunately you’re in left field during a bike race. (The joke being that you’re so off target that there is no left field in cycling. Get it? Yes, bad joke.) No no no, people have I taught you anything? No, there is absolutely no way mismatched socks are allowed. You are allowed to be as cavalier as you want with your particular style, but you’re apparently trying to break the KoS’s rules in the process. Uggh, I do a little barf in my mouth when I think that. Maybe if you’re drunk are you allowed to do it off the bike. On the bike: no.

      Reply
  3. StephSTL

    How about Knee socks for the ladies? It started with those Psychocross girls and has trickled down the the roadies (ie kit, color coordinated knee socks with a lil embro for the exposed knee on a cool fall/spring day). We think we rock them… but what does The King Say?

    Reply

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