This Thing Sucks

…sucks dirt, that is. And various other pieces of sand, hair, grime, and home dander.

Yup, I got me a brand spankin’ new vacuum cleaner thanks to the fine people at Bissell! Truly, she’s a thing of beauty with unparalleled sucking power, a sleek comfortable ergonimical handle, a very stylish light blue color scheme accented with shades of gray, plus much more.

What really blows me away is how it compares to the previous Bissell that I found and adopted from my Grandmother’s house and took with me to Asheville. That previous model – probably about a decade old – got the job done just fine, but pales in comparison to the current Healthy Home Vacuum. Basically, it looks like they took the previous model, gave it a gym membership, and told it to get massive. It also has characteristics that make it look like the Terminator – kind of muscular and robotic looking. For in-home safety reasons, it obviously runs on electricity… but can you tell it really wants to be a diesel.

Here they are head to head:

img_1717_1.JPG The new one’s on the right. It’s easy to pick out between the two, being that it’s taller, wider, has smoother lines, and some wicked features, like the TurboBrush, Multi-Cyclonic System, a Telescoping Crevice Tool, and the Microban Anti-Microbial Protection. Sweet!

img_1719_3.JPG Check out the rims on this beast. They’re sixes, yo! Makes the older model’s threes look just plain sad. I definitely like the wheels a lot, but I might take it to the shop and put some spinners on for extra bling.

img_1718_2.JPG No comparison shot of both vacuums here, but that’s a 15 inch wide sucking path. Really gives you a sense of power. I’ve never driven a bulldozer, but I imagine it’s the same sort of feeling.

It arrived the day after I’d used the older model to clean the apartment. I could hardly contain my excitement and had to immediately take the new one out for a whirl. What’s crazy is that I took an already clean apartment, and was still able to yank two inches of dirt out of the rug. No lie.


  1. Biker Dave

    Wow and you work for this fabulous company. I hope all this suction doesn’t pull the wind out of your lungs for next months race. But then the cleaner air in the apt has to help.

  2. mike jones

    Holy crap, a cyclists blog entry that was actually entertaining. Way to plug the sponsor in a humorous way.

  3. iamtedking

    Ahh Mike, you haven’t seen nothing yet. I have wit, wry humor, clever insight, and more! You’re going to have an EXPERIENCE reading this blog. Good times…

  4. emily

    we got the healthy home too! it truly is a thing of beauty…and thank god, because i live with scott zwizanski now and he is kind of a dirtball. now if bissell could just start making toilets with that kind of power…

  5. iamtedking

    Don’t I know. Don’t I know…

  6. Eric@Exetercycles

    WHAT!!! Thats supposed to be my Vacuum! Remember all those quick repairs to keep you and the Bro rolling….. I feel so used..
    Glad to find the blog, good luck.

  7. iamtedking

    Hey Eric, there are often perks to the people who make my bike run smooth like butter. Perhaps I’ll bring the Bissell into Exeter Cycles and demo the cleaning potential…


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