Big Gulps

Here’s a picture of what looks like me putting down a mean time trial at the US Pro Time Trial and Road Race Championships in Greenville, SC over Labor Day weekend. I’ve got my serious game face on, a respectably fast position, and stupid-fast bike and wheels. You might think that given these factors that I slayed the time trial… that would be a lie. In truth, my time trial was crappy. I’m not at all used to a TT of that length (32km), so after about 25-30 minutes, I was just slowing down like I was riding through fresh laid tar! Frig, man! My halfway split was a very respectable 22:05, but beyond that I just crept to the finish. I guess I have a good idea of what I should be working on for the next 364 days: long time trials.

Next, after the championship road race on Sunday afternoon, we packed up shop and drove to Roswell, GA for Monday’s Atlanta 100k and stayed at Tommy’s girlfriend’s house. The Atlanta 100k is a very cool race that exists because of the Atlanta 10k running race that occurs at the same time – which supposedly has tens of thousands of runners and is one of the biggest 10ks in the country! So lap after lap, we’d race by the enormous throng of runners going in the opposite 3 lanes. That might be a bit confusing, so you can see this picture for a better idea. I should also point out that this race started at 7:15am. Yeah, STARTED at 7:15. I think it was to beat the Atlanta heat found mid-day, but this was a crazy early start considering we didn’t get to Roswell until about 11:30pm the previous night.

Blah blah blah, chopping out details, after the 100k I flew from Atlanta to Rochester, NY where I am now. This week I’ve been checking out Mayo and my new digs and riding the greater-Rochester country side. (I’ll be honest, it’s almost entirely Mayo’s digs right now. I’ll try to move in over the next month as the off-season sets in.)

I had the privilege of reading a nearby town’s inadvertently hilarious welcome sign while on my first ride in Rochester. You know the type: “Welcome to ____! Where Everyone is Happy!” or some crap like that. I nearly fell off my bike in disbelief of what this sign said; I then proceeded to crack jokes to myself for the next 75 minutes on my ride, based solely on this town’s motto.

Here’s the motto (to save the town from embarrassment, the town’s name has been omitted):

Welcome to ____. Where Life Is Worth Living.

I mean, puhh-leeeeease! The first joke I thought of was, What if someone – heaven forbid – commits suicide? I guess the town’s planners would feel like a bunch of fools for creating that motto. Here at iamtedking.blogspot, we like to have some interactive fun, so if you can think of more jokes, please post them so we can laugh.

As you’ve probably noticed, there’s nothing about Big Gulps in this blog, despite what the title says. That was just a ploy to get you to read. The power of persuasion… muhaha.


  1. Huck

    i was definitely persuaded to read on… Hows the motto “live free or die” compare as far as town mottos go? maybe state mottos?!

  2. a$

    yay to univest!!!
    fast!!! fast!! fast!!!

  3. iamTedKing

    Ha! Hello a$. I’m glad to see you’re checking in. Were you at GMSR?


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